Are We Responsible For The Actions Of Our Children?

n and women who worked on "the pile"taunts go to their souls. They put the moment in
immediately after 9/11 are falling ill presumablyperspective and move on. Kids who have not
due to exposure to toxic materials. While thebeen taught, or kids who've encountered nothing
workers say they were not aware of the danger,but taunts react outwardly and inwardly and don't
responsible authorities claim to have issued propermove on. They expect more problems, prepare
warnings.themselves for them and react again and again.
It has been suggested that leaders should haveThe goal is to raise our children to be self
stopped workers from venturing anywhere nearregulating. The primary tool is insight.
the pile until proper protection for them could beInsight begins with the willingness, and later, the
acquired. On the other hand, the governmentability to look critically at one's own process.
points to the fact that many of these workersLooking critically inevitably forces us to ask the
entered Ground Zero unwilling to listen to thequestion, "Is that a good idea?" Asking the
cautionary disclaimers of authorities.question creates a buffer between the thought
This leaves us to ask where the boundaries ofand the action. The conclusions that follow are
responsibility are drawn for our leaders. It isinsights. It is that first moment when you
challenging, at times next to impossible, to controlpondered why you said or did a thing that insight
the actions of impulsive, strong willed, selfis born. It is the parent's job to teach the child
sacrificing individuals.how to ask those questions of themselves.
A leader's main responsibility is to the effort ofInsight leading to self-regulation is a process very
leading. While they may be unable to control themuch like learning to ride a bicycle. One can
actions of every individual they are charged withcertainly learn to ride all alone, but having an
the task of preparing them to respond toencouraging coach allows for moments of fear
different circumstances, to look out for oneand indecision followed by resolve to plunge ahead.
another and to follow the directives of authority.Removal of the training wheels with a firm hand
A leader is responsible if they fail theon the shoulder and encouraging words flooding
requirements of leadership. A leader is notthe brain push through imbalance and suddenly it
responsible if everything possible was diligentlyall comes together. And it stays like that for a
applied in the act of leading. Bad outcomes happenlifetime. Better yet, the moment is stored in a
even when everything is done correctly.memory linked to the connection between parent
In the same way that leaders are responsible forand child.
those they lead, parents are for their children.So, as leaders, are we responsible for the actions
Parenting is the ultimate form of leadership. It isof our children? Before answering that question
infinitely complex because it spans theponder these: Have I devoted every possible
development of both child and parent. It is theeffort to help my children reach their full potential?
template for the child's evolving perception ofHave I been mindful of their unique characteristics
authority, membership, boundaries, and fairness.and understanding that at times they may
It is our job, as parents, to equip our children withbehave in ways that are difficult to control? Have
the proper tools to deal with the myriad ofI guided them to gain insight into themselves and
situations they are sure to encounter throughouttheir own personal process? Have I helped them
a lifetime. When the tools are absent, childrengrow into self regulating individuals? Perhaps then
struggle. Children who have been taught how toa better question is, have I taken responsibility for
deal with issues, such as bullying, don't let thethe relationship I have with my children?