| > | | | | Sadly, we walk away and try to pattern our lives |
| "Marriage relationships are similar to learning to ride | | | | after what we've seen but, not understood. |
| a bicycle as a kid." | | | | I'll be the first to tell you, watching what Tom and |
| Unwrapping The Gift | | | | Betsie do, and trying to act out this same thing |
| Marriage is like a gift;the easiest part of marriage | | | | between you and your mate, will only increase |
| relationships is opening it by saying, "I do." I once | | | | problems in your marriage relationship. Why? |
| heard someone say at a ceremony, "The | | | | simply because you are trying to measure your |
| wedding is now over, but the marriage has just | | | | marriage by someone else's standard. You have a |
| begun!" Now that you are in this new chapter of | | | | totally different man/women in your life, create |
| your life, believe it or not, it has just begun. | | | | your own standards by learning what you both |
| Everytime I'd hop on that bike, I'd make it a few | | | | want in your marriage, then work by those |
| feet and fall off. When I first got married, our | | | | standards. If you don't do this, get ready for a |
| relationship seemed this way also. We'd set of on | | | | long, troublesome, frustrating journey. |
| our journey, our differences would clash, and | | | | Pedaling & Balance |
| trivial arguments would erupt. You probably know | | | | In riding a bike, you need to learn balance to stay |
| what I mean. Ones like - "why didn't you put the | | | | upright, and you need to pedal to move foward in |
| toilet seat down? Where is the cap for the | | | | the direction you wish to go. When these two |
| toothpaste? I thought you said you'd take out the | | | | work together, the result is a great breathtaking |
| trash? blah, blah, blah, blah, Are you listening to | | | | ride. |
| me?" | | | | In marriage relationships, you also need forward, |
| As a kid, I really was serious about learning to | | | | positive momentum, and balance. The wonderful |
| ride that bike, but a decision had to be made. | | | | things you do that pleases each other, builds |
| Was I strong enough to not give up until I could | | | | passion and increases attraction (momentum), |
| ride?, or was I gonna take the easy way out and | | | | while learning more about each other and creating |
| say "riding bikes isn't for me!". You've got to | | | | an environment for each of you to personally |
| make these same decisions after you've said "I | | | | grow, gives balance. |
| do". Will you keep going and work through your | | | | Since there are also many things that decreases |
| differences? Or will you say "let's get a divorce!". | | | | passion (slows momentum/love busters) and |
| Know that all marriage relationships have good | | | | creates imbalance, both of you must constantly |
| and bad days. Great marriages relationships just | | | | work at pedaling and balancing to build a great |
| work at producing more good days than bad | | | | marriage (great ride). |
| ones. | | | | Using Training Wheels |
| "But Paul Doesn't Fall Off..." | | | | Using those training wheels gave me an |
| We often look at other marriage relationships and | | | | opportunity to learn how to balance and pedal at |
| measure our progress or lack of it based on what | | | | the same time. After I'd gotten more |
| other people have or don't have. What's | | | | comfortable coordinating the two, my dad took |
| misleading about this is that we base our | | | | the training wheels off and helped me to move |
| judgements from what we see on the outside, | | | | without them. |
| rather than knowledge from inside their lives. | | | | |